,

It practically gallops!

Contra-tution

Bacon cheeseburgers are delicious. All restaurants should serve them. In fact, the government should force Indian restaurants and Kosher delicatessens to serve them too. Better still, the government should force Hindu and Jewish business owners to give free bacon cheeseburgers to their employees. Wouldn’t that be great?

Of course that would never happen because the First Amendment protects the religious liberty of Hindus and Jews. They would never be forced to violate their religious beliefs. However the government has ordered all employers to offer types of health insurance that violate Catholic beliefs. Catholic bishops want an exemption for Catholic-owned institutions.

It doesn’t matter whether you believe pork is edible or unclean. You still respect the beliefs of those who disagree. There’s no valid reason for the government to force a Catholic school or hospital provide free contraception to its employees. It could be that the government believes contraception is a good thing that must be forced on those who disagree. Or it could be sinister plot to force Catholics out of the hospital and charity business. Either way, the government is forcing Catholic institutions to disobey the law.

My friend Frank Weathers has created a petition on the White House’s website for those who object to this clear violation of the First Amendment. It’s not about whether or not you believe in contraception. It’s about whether or not you believe in the Constitution.

February 3, 2012 | Filed Under Catholic | 1 Comment 

Sara Leeway

Ever since getting my Kindle, I have made it a habit to check the list of 100 “bestselling” free e-books on Amazon.com. They have a list of the top 100 free mp3 songs too.

Today I downloaded a free book called “CAKES – 50 Cake Recipes to Tantalize Your Taste Buds” by M. Smith and R. King and then mentioned it on Twitter. That prompted Jennifer Prairie to ask, “Do YOU bake?”

I am much more likely to buy a cake than to bake one, although I have helped my wife bake a few things. Before downloading the cookbook, I glanced at the table of contents and saw two recipes with the word banana in the title. Neither seemed close to the Sara Lee banana cake I loved as a kid. Every so often, the memory pops into my head and I wish I had some in the freezer.

If the free e-book didn’t have a replica of the Sara Lee recipe, maybe the Internet would. I found three candidates that might be worth a try: Banana Cake VI on AllRecipes.com; Iced Banana Cake on PetitChef.com and Southern Living Banana Cake on Food.com.

January 29, 2012 | Filed Under Uncategorized | 2 Comments 

Hip to Be Square

Dinner with the Bone Doctor 4 - Dr. Bill Bass brings a different set of bones to each “Dinner with the Bone Doctor.” The fourth such event at Echo Bistro & Wine Bar was held last night. Guests enjoyed sea bass and veal while staring at various bones from the Body Farm. I have had the good fortune to serve as emcee for each of the dinners.

Dinner with the Bone Doctor 4 - Dinner with the Bone Doctor 4 - The first bone of the evening was a native American skull that was about 400 years old. Dr. Bass could tell that the person’s skull was flattened by a cradleboard during infancy. As he placed the skull on each table in the restaurant, guests grabbed their cameras and cell phones to take a picture. Melissa Treece posted her photo to Twitter right away.

Dinner with the Bone Doctor 4 - One of the bones came from the neck of a bison. It had a huge hump spine. Dr. Bass compared it to the same bone from the neck of a human. Before the dinner, Susan Seals of the Bone Zones team said to me, “when Dr. Bass holds up the buffalo bone, be sure to mention that they serve bison steaks here at Echo.” When the time came, I grabbed a menu and read aloud: “Bison Strip Steak ‘Denmark,’ broiled to perfection then topped with sautéed shiitake mushrooms, country ham and blue cheese crumbles.”

Dinner with the Bone Doctor 4 - In the past, Dr. Bass has  shown what remains of an artificial hip from a person who was cremated. Last night he showed an artificial hip from someone who decomposed at the Body Farm. The number 31-05D is visible on the pelvis. According to the Body Farm numbering system, the bones came from the 31st body donated in 2005.

Dr. Bass gave a few hints about the next Jefferson Bass novel, “The Inquisitor’s Key,” which will be released on May 8. It involves the Avignon Papacy, the Shroud of Turin and a mysterious set of bones.

January 24, 2012 | Filed Under Body Farm | 1 Comment 

Peanuts and Cracker Jack

The Christmas gifts that my friend Bean and I exchanged had a childhood flair to them. I sent him peanut butter and jelly from Blackberry Farm, the world-class resort in Walland, Tennessee. Coincidentally, our mutual friend Jimmy Kimmel received a surprise trip to Blackberry Farm for his birthday last November.

Christmas gift from Bean: photo of 1969 Mets victory celebration Bean sent me a fantastic framed photo of the New York Mets winning the 1969 World Series. That event sealed my fate as a lifelong Mets fan.

Perry Simon is a lifelong Phillies fan, so it’s understandable that he hates the Mets the same way I hate the Phillies. The other day he posted a link to a great story about Mr. Met, the lovable mascot for my team. I was amused by Perry’s take:

Here’s a whole article on the travails of Mr. Met, the cheery mascot of the troubled New York Mets. I’m not sure what the point of the thing is, but Mr. Met always seemed to be a pretty lame mascot to me. I mean, what does he do? He’s a guy with an enormous baseball for a head. Um, okay.

Perry’s comments are hysterical because the mascot for his team is the ridiculous Phillie Phanatic, a cross between Big Bird and a radioactive aardvark. Without his Phillies shirt, who would know what the Phanatic stands for? Even in street clothes, it would be obvious that Mr. Met lives and breathes baseball.

January 10, 2012 | Filed Under Uncategorized | 1 Comment 

Playing Kitsch-up

The Oscar Mayer Wienermobile visited some of my old haunts in Burbank and North Hollywood this week. My friend Susan Olsen was an honored guest along with songwriter Allee Willis and Americana archivist Charles Phoenix. For starters, the three friends rode the giant hot dog to the Brady Bunch house on Dilling Street. I always loved taking out-of-town guests to see it, even though the subsequent owners took pains to change its appearance and discourage looky-loos.

Allee posted great pictures of the journey on her blog. They went to two Burbank restaurants that I used to frequent: Bob’s Big Boy and Chili John’s. Perhaps the most clever picture was taken at Circus Liquor, which was also used as a location in the movie “Clueless.” They positioned the Wienermobile so that it looks like the giant neon alcoholic clown is standing atop the vehicle.

I had my first experience with the Wienermobile when I was working at WAVA. One morning I had privilege of riding in the vehicle while broadcasting via cellphone. I had my upper body through the sun roof as we drove around Washington D.C. and Arlington. I tossed wiener-whistles to people and shouted “I’m in the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile! Don’t you wish you were me?”

December 22, 2011 | Filed Under Uncategorized | Leave a Comment 

Bread and Butter

loaf of homemade bread in a cardboard box by Paula Deen One of my wife’s co-workers gave loaves of homemade bread to the rest of the staff for Christmas. Instead of being wrapped in cellophane or a Ziploc bag, the bread was in a cardboard box that fit it perfectly. The front of the box said, “Let’s eat y’all.”

Fans of Paula Deen will immediately recognize the saying as one of her catchphrases. I didn’t realize that Paula had expanded her product line into so many different items. The perfect fit of the bread in the box made me think that Paula must also sell the pan that baked the loaf.

According to Paula’s website, the loaf boxes are a discontinued item, which is just as well. At $12.95 for a set of four, they were horribly overpriced.

December 21, 2011 | Filed Under Uncategorized | 2 Comments 

Don’t Try This at Home

failed attempt at Candy Bar Surprise Cookies Something went wrong with our attempt at making Candy Bar Surprise Cookies. The recipe seems simple enough: wrap cookie dough around a piece of a candy bar and bake. Several baking blogs make it look easy. Maybe our oven was too hot or maybe the cookies stayed in a minute too long. The end result was a cookie with a hole in the middle where the candy bar used to be. Should we try again? If so, what tips can you give us?

December 15, 2011 | Filed Under Uncategorized | 1 Comment 

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