St. Pat, Nick’s Day
185 Santas walk into a bar. The bartender says I can’t serve 185 Santas and the 185 Santas say…
The joke could become a reality in Gatlinburg next week. ClausFest 2012 will bring hundreds of Santas to the Smoky Mountains for a convention that runs Sunday through Wednesday. The festivities actually kick-off a day earlier with a Santa Parade at 4:00 p.m. Saturday on the Parkway. Except for the parade and a fashion show on Tuesday, the gathering is closed to the public.
After a year without a Santa Claus convention, the event returns to Gatlinburg as a sign of good faith. The new organizers paid their bills up front, to make up for the embarrassment of 2010.
Oh yeah, some punchlines…
What are you, Claustrophobic?
Who do you think we are? Subordinate Clauses?
Too bad! We were gonna get Blitzened and make it rain, dear.
Peanuts and Cracker Jack
The Christmas gifts that my friend Bean and I exchanged had a childhood flair to them. I sent him peanut butter and jelly from Blackberry Farm, the world-class resort in Walland, Tennessee. Coincidentally, our mutual friend Jimmy Kimmel received a surprise trip to Blackberry Farm for his birthday last November.
Bean sent me a fantastic framed photo of the New York Mets winning the 1969 World Series. That event sealed my fate as a lifelong Mets fan.
Perry Simon is a lifelong Phillies fan, so it’s understandable that he hates the Mets the same way I hate the Phillies. The other day he posted a link to a great story about Mr. Met, the lovable mascot for my team. I was amused by Perry’s take:
Here’s a whole article on the travails of Mr. Met, the cheery mascot of the troubled New York Mets. I’m not sure what the point of the thing is, but Mr. Met always seemed to be a pretty lame mascot to me. I mean, what does he do? He’s a guy with an enormous baseball for a head. Um, okay.
Perry’s comments are hysterical because the mascot for his team is the ridiculous Phillie Phanatic, a cross between Big Bird and a radioactive aardvark. Without his Phillies shirt, who would know what the Phanatic stands for? Even in street clothes, it would be obvious that Mr. Met lives and breathes baseball.
Three King Circus
St. Mark Church in Vienna, Virginia, celebrates the Epiphany by having parishioners display their nativity scenes in the Activities Center. The annual Crèche Exhibit is a nice tradition that I would enjoy seeing catch on at more places.
Before Christmas, my family visited the Way of Lights at the National Shrine of Our Lady of the Snows in Belleville, Illinois. The gift shop sold nativity figurines, including two animals I hadn’t seen in that context before: horses and elephants. The Bible doesn’t say how many Magi visited Jesus and it certainly doesn’t mention their mode of transportation. It made me wonder, are elephants mentioned anywhere in the Bible? Yes, in the second book of Maccabees, elephants are used by warriors in chapters 11, 13 and 14.
12 Pianists Percussing
On the twelfth day of Christmas, I listened to the Christmas music I bought with an Amazon.com gift card. The best song was one that was absolutely free. I downloaded “Ave Maria” by Celtic Woman. during Amazon’s “25 Days of Free” promotion.
“O Holy Night” by Point of Grace had been on my wish list for a long time. The song used to get airplay on a local Christian station before the deejays were fired and replaced by syndicated programming.
“A Steinway Christmas Album” by Jeffrey Biegel was on sale for $4.99 when I bought it. Biegel is a friend of Maestro Lucas Richman and has performed in Knoxville several times. Many of the album’s solo piano performances are very relaxing with a few uptempo surprises mixed in. I can picture my family opening presents next Christmas while this album is on. I wonder if I can stream it on my new Sony SMP-N100.
Christmas Rush
Now that I’ve completed my quest to visit all fifty states, I suppose I won’t be buying many more souvenir Christmas ornaments. There isn’t room on our tree for all the ones I’ve collected so far.
One of the last turns out to be one of the best. The Christmas ornament from Mount Rushmore is of the same high quality as the White House ornaments that my wife loves. There were a few other designs in the gift shop, but I remember being thrilled when I first saw the one I purchased. It looked almost exactly as I had hoped it would.
The Second Day of Christmas
One of the churches we visited in St. Louis last week has a work of art that grabbed my attention. It’s a paper-cut Nativity scene in a reverse silhouette by artist Paul Lodes. The representation of the manger was great, however it was the artist’s signature that caused me to pause.
Lodes signed his name and wrote the date April 19, 2006. I was a little surprised it wasn’t a December date. It made me start wracking my brain to remember the date that Jesus was actually born. An astronomer determined that that Star of Bethlehem would have been visible in the sky on April 17 in the year 6 B.C. The picture I saw was made 2011 years and 2 days after the birth of Christ.
Incarnation Conversation
Christmas is for giving. Christianity is for forgiving. I brought up the topic of forgiveness with Cardinal Justin Rigali during a radio interview that we recorded last month for broadcast today. Rigali worked for Pope John Paul II and was present when the pope was shot in St. Peter’s Square in 1981. John Paul II was critically wounded but recovered and famously forgave his assassin.
Although we talked about a few Catholic things, most of the interview was geared for Christians of all denominations. We also mentioned Judaism, Islam and other faiths. It was almost as if Cardinal Rigali was delivering a homily about the true meaning of Christmas. He also talked about the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, even mentioning the injustice of the Dred Scott decision.
You can listen to the interview via the podcasting link below:






