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That Cannot Be Denied
The story of how Adam Carolla met Jimmy Kimmel goes right through my office. It was my job to be the gatekeeper who had to keep Adam at bay while Jimmy and others decided how they would proceed with their idea for a boxing match.
A tip via Twitter informed me that Adam told the story of his early days at KROQ on a recent podcast. One of his guests was Matt “Money” Smith, who worked there as a phone screener at the time. It was interesting to hear their side of the story, especially when Adam said he originally intended to be the boxing coach for Michael the Maintenance Man, not Jimmy. Once he was paired with Jimmy, Adam’s goal was to win him over with comedy. He made a point that they were all peons and couldn’t have predicted their future success.
Adam joked that I would order Jimmy to empty the trash and get me a fresh newspaper. Adam says they all disliked me, which I didn’t know at the time since I was caught up in my own idiosyncrasies. Adam and Matt couldn’t remember which employee “discovered” Boogerman, a homeless guy who performed parody songs and eventually got hired as an overnight deejay. It was me, at a St. Patrick’s Day remote broadcast. Boogerman made me laugh with his version of the Lucky Charms jingle.
The language in the podcast is definitely NSFW, unless you happen to work in the sales office for Glengarry Glen Ross.
Cuckoo for Coconuts
The problem with Girl Scout Cookies is that their season usually coincides with Lent. I choose to give up sweet treats because I crave them every day. It would require no effort for me to give up potato chips or any salty snack.
My sister and my niece were preparing to sell Girl Scout Cookies outside a store in their neighborhood last week while my wife and I were visiting. I resisted the urge to eat a Samoa but I did take a picture for further study. Last month, I bought some knock-off cookies at Dollar General and finished them on Mardi Gras. Now I can compare the photos side-by-side.
Statue of Limitations
Of all the valuable artwork visible during my tour of the U.S. Capitol, the statues of famous Americans were the most memorable to me. Sure, I looked up at “The Apotheosis of Washington,” which was discussed in Dan Brown’s “The Lost Symbol,” but the statues were my favorite thing to see. Each state has two statues. Our tour guide, an intern named Logan from Congressman John J. Duncan, Jr.’s office, pointed out that Tennessee technically has three famous sons represented: John Sevier, Andrew Jackson and Sam Houston, who was governor of Tennessee before becoming governor of Texas.
The two figures from California interested me. The states are allowed to replace their statues. The addition of Ronald Reagan sent some other guy into cold storage. The base of his statue in the Rotunda includes a visible ribbon of rubble from the Berlin Wall. Later, our tour guide was pointing out something else in Statuary Hall when he said, “it’s over by the guy with the cross.” My wife and I didn’t need to see the name on the base to recognize the iconic figure of Fr. Junipero Serra, who founded a string of Catholic missions along El Camino Real. Our kids had to each choose a mission and build a model of it in fourth grade at St. Finbar School.
A “portrait monument” honoring three women’s suffrage leaders, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Susan B. Anthony and Lucretia Mott, appears to be unfinished. Our tour guide said that the rumor around Capitol Hill is that the hunk of unhewn marble will someday be carved into the likeness of our first female president. He also told us that no living person can be represented by a statue in the Capitol.
Astronaut Jack Swigert died of cancer after being elected to Congress but before taking office. His colorful statue, one of the two from Colorado, is on display in the Capitol Visitor Center. He is best known as one of the three crewmen aboard Apollo 13. Kevin Bacon played him in the movie.
In the crypt under the Rotunda, we could stand in the exact center of Washington and simultaneously be in all four quadrants of the city. We were told that many lawmakers rub their foot on the spot for good luck before one of their bills is voted on. Nearby is a model of the Capitol grounds, which we were studying when I looked up to see freshman Congressman Scott DesJarlais of Tennessee’s 4th district. I knew that his incumbent opponent had waged a brutal and misleading mudslinging campaign, which obviously failed. I congratulated the congressman on “fighting the good fight” with a fist-bump on his shoulder. In hindsight, I felt stupid about touching a congressman, even if I had momentarily thought of him as a regular guy from Tennessee.
The Bat’s Meow
The Star Spangled Banner exhibit at the National Museum of American History has gone high tech. Like many Americans, I remember going to the Smithsonian Institution as a kid and seeing the famous flag hanging in entryway. The current display protects it from sunlight and includes a very cool touchscreen that lets you zoom in on specific parts of the flag. As you leave the darkened room, a sign asks you to tweet your comments to @amhistorymuseum.
My wife and I planned our day in D.C. to include a trip to the museum because she wanted to see the old ladies’ dresses First Ladies’ Gowns. While we were there, I wanted to show her Julia Child’s kitchen, even though I saw it last summer. I am a longtime fan of the French Chef. An interview with Julia played on a video screen with an occasional slide saying that the footage was recorded on September 11, 2001. I didn’t notice any reference to that day’s terrorist attacks and couldn’t figure out why they mentioned it.
“Batman” was represented at least twice in the museum. In the cafeteria, they had a display of lunchboxes through the years. I saw a Batman & Robin lunchbox that was similar to one I had in first grade. I thought mine also had The Penguin on it, but a Google search makes me think the villains were on the thermos.
After enjoying lunch from the salad bar, my wife and I took the elevator up to the third floor. The doors opened to reveal an assortment of original Muppets from Jim Henson’s days at WRC-TV, before “Sesame Street.” Beyond that we could see Archie and Edith Bunker’s chairs from “All in the Family.”
The museum rotates the display of pop-culture treasures in the relatively small space. The highlight for me was seeing one of Julie Newmar’s Catwoman costumes from the “Batman” TV series. It was placed next to a case with Fonzie’s leather jacket, Phyllis Diller’s wig and few other items.
Around the corner from Catwoman was a room featuring items from 1939. We saw Dorothy’s ruby slippers and a page from “The Wizard of Oz” screenplay in which the slippers were silver, like in the book. I gravitated toward a display case for radio, which held an NBC microphone, Toscanini’s baton and radio’s most famous dummy, Charlie McCarthy. That’s me on the right.
Mortal Men
In the 49 hours between George Mason’s thrilling victory over Villanova and their tip-off against Ohio State, I started thinking about all the kryptonite references from 2006. The Patriots would be wearing their green jerseys on Sunday. I was even thinking of a connection between Coach Jim Larranaga and Lex Luthor.
My friends Tanya and Mike told me they wanted to organize a Knoxville viewing party like they did in 2006. The first place they mentioned is a sports bar that allows smoking. I suggested they choose an all-ages restaurant like the Wild Wing Cafe, where smoking is prohibited indoors.
Like in the movies, Superman prevailed. George Mason didn’t just lose. It was a blowout of near-historic proportions. Coach L showed he is a class act by pulling his starters and giving other players a chance to get in the game during the last two minutes.
As a proud alumnus, I enjoyed watching the Patriots play. Now that their season is done, I can go back to my normal TV watching routine.
Masonic Ritual
As the “home team” with the higher seed, the George Mason Patriots wore white jerseys when they beat Villanova in an unbelievable come-from-behind finish on Friday. I expect that they will be wearing their kryptonite green jerseys when they play the number one team in the country, Ohio State, on Sunday at 5:15 p.m.
A page on the GMU Alumni Association website directed me to a viewing party at Brion’s Grille, a sports bar close to campus. When the Patriots won, I was hollering and high-fiving strangers, just like everyone else in the place. Both WJLA and WRC sent cameras and reporters to get reactions from the fans. When the game ended, the two stations raised the masts on their live trucks and went live from the bar.
John Gonzalez of ABC7 was one of the reporters present. He filed the report below. When he says it’s been three years since George Mason was in the national championship, he’s referring to Mason’s first round loss in 2008.
Congressional Records
Congressman John J. Duncan, Jr. took time to visit with about a dozen constituents from back home on Thursday, including my wife and me. We had arranged for a staff-led tour of the U. S. Capitol, which began in our congressman’s office.
The view from Duncan’s office in the Rayburn Building is spectacular. He was elected to congress in 1988 and got the better space as he moved up in rank. I asked his staff, who told me this is the third office Duncan has occupied.
The congressman went around the room asking each of us, kids included, a little about ourselves. He had an anecdote for every situation, having visited every school in his district. He told my wife and me that he attended Bishop Stika’s 25th anniversary Mass.
I asked Rep. Duncan about his famous vote against the Iraq war. He said the vote would have made his father, a loyal Republican, roll over in his grave. However Duncan also talked about the fiercely independent spirit of East Tennessee, dating back to the Civil War. He told us he had originally voted to support the war in Afghanistan but now wanted it to end. Duncan recapped to us his speech on the floor of the House that morning on the same topic.
I also asked about the drinking water the congressman provides at the Tennessee Valley Fair. He said that the late Tim Russert came to Knoxville for a speaking engagement. During his remarks, Russert said he had some time to kill earlier in the day and that he visited the fair. He was amazed that Duncan could get political capital by giving away water.
Since we were there on St. Patrick’s Day, it made perfect sense that a random bagpiper would be playing Irish tunes as he walked along 1st Street, past the Capitol Hill Club.
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