Snake Charmers

Watching “Mega Python vs. Gatoroid” on Saturday night brought to mind a pressing question. Which looks less natural, the atrocious CGI or Tiffany’s hair color? The movie is laughably bad. Or you could say laughably good. They seemed to spend their whole budget on hiring actors who get killed by the title creatures instead of using the money for more convincing computer animation. Stuntmen in giant rubber snake and gator suits might have looked more realistic.

Tiffany and Debbie Gibson are listed in the opening credits as co-producers. So when they talk about “our movie,” they mean it literally. In one of their comments after a commercial break, the two women promised that their characters would continue making bad decisions that result in a high death toll of day-players. I chuckled when one redneck hunter honored the death of his buddy by cracking open a beer.

With gigantic steroid-fed reptiles on the prowl, there’s no reason to sweat over smaller details. For example, the mountainous topography of Bronson Canyon (home of TV’s Batcave) is supposed to be only a short drive from the sea-level Everglades.

The best actress in the film is Kathryn Joosten, who you would probably know from “The West Wing” and “Desperate Housewives.” Former Monkee Micky Dolenz shows up as himself. He’s the entertainment for the big party and does not disappoint. The fancy party is where the highly-touted catfight between Tiffany and Debbie occurs. It starts an hour and nineteen minutes into the movie, in case you’re fast-forwarding. The pop idol brawl soon becomes a food fight, complete with buttercreamed cleavage.

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2 Responses to Snake Charmers

  1. rich says:

    Frank, you are my hero!

  2. Bruce Patrick says:

    Some of the special effects made the original Land of the Lost stop motion stuff look like Jurassic Park!

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