Omaha-ha

After donating blood Thursday morning, I enjoyed a piece of red meat on Thursday night. My mother sent us Omaha Steaks for Christmas, as you may recall from seeing Frank Jr. play with the dry ice that kept the steaks cold. The package included a catalog, a brochure with recipes and a small packet of “Conversation CardsĀ®.” Are Nebraskans notoriously not talkative? The packet says the cards are “a great way to bring families, fun & laughter back to the table.” We got “Set No. 21,” which implies there have been 20 previous to these. Here are a few of my favorites:

“How many famous horses can you name?” The correct answer would be a number. For this question to be a true conversation starter, it should read “which famous horses can you name?” Then we could argue whether to include fictional horses like Bullseye from “Toy Story 2″ or the famous Mister Ed. You could insist on naming only real horses like Secretariat and Seabiscuit. I wish they had asked “which famous cattle can you name?.” There’s Elsie and Elmer, Ferdinand, the Cowntess and Mrs. O’Leary’s for starters.

“Are mobile phones a good thing?” It’s a yes/no question which should be followed by “and why?” How old is the target audience for these questions? Only senior citizens would say no and only if they don’t have a Jitterbug.

“How do you contact/reach your friends most often: write them, call them or email them?” They left off “push the button on your Lifecall alert.”

“East Coast or West Coast? Why?” Finally a why question! I suppose they want to know where you want to retire, Florida or Arizona.

“How do you like to celebrate your birthday?” The most common answer is probably “by breathing.”

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