Facebook
Rip the Knob Off
As a radio geek, stunt formats and frequency swaps naturally appeal to me. For the past two weeks, I have been enjoying the stunt format on 100.3 FM. It’s a mishmash of sound bites that are supposed to drive listeners away and get them to stop listening before new management takes over next week. Some of them succeed at being annoying, such as the sound of vuvuzelas, but most of the crazy clips are more entertaining than the programming they replaced.
I have been enthralled by audio of Cas Walker describing his plan to hire security guards who will “jump on” any thieves at his grocery stores and swear that it was the thieves who jumped on them. The best sound clip is from a fairly lengthy TV news report on the preparations for the 1982 World’s Fair.
My family and I have also enjoyed the themes from “Reading Rainbow” and “The Banana Splits” mixed in with some swanky elevator music and Ponchielli’s “Dance of the Hours.” I couldn’t tune away from a three-song sweep of “Dominique” into “It’s Tricky” into “Laughter in the Rain.”
Several of the segments sound like they were lifted straight off of YouTube. We laughed at an English-as-a-second-language lesson teaching idioms such as “I’m broke.” A group that sounded like a wedding band doing a cover of Katy Perry’s “California Gurls.” They also played the audio from an old cartoon that explained when a Chiquita Banana is ready to eat.
Although I loved the tune-out format, I think the station’s outgoing management missed a huge opportunity. They could have achieved the same effect of no listeners while making a boatload of money selling the time to local candidates for their negative campaign ads.
E=mc² Room
Einstein Simplified is moving. After 16 great years in Knoxville’s Old City, the comedy improv troupe has found a new home at The Square Room, located on Market Square. The first weekly show in the new venue will be on August 31.
There will be four more improv shows at Einstein Simplified’s long-time home, Patrick Sullivan’s. The farewell show in the Old City will be on August 24, which is within days of the group’s actual 16th anniversary.
Tuesdays will continue to be Einstein Simplified night in Knoxville. As in the past, it’s free to get in but you have to pay to leave. In the busker tradition, audience members stuff cash into the tip jar at the end of the 90-minute performance. Shows will still begin at 8:30 p.m.
The move to The Square Room is indirectly related to a gig at the International Biscuit Festival. Einstein Simplified opened for Leanne Morgan and made a good impression on the management.
I joined the group in 2002. Over the past eight years, I have tried to get everyone I know to come see us. Some people don’t want to go to the Old City. I hope Market Square will be easier for them to visit. The Square Room is at least twice as big as the upper room at Patrick Sullivan’s. If you have ever thought about coming to a show, make plans to support us in our new home as we begin our 17th year of making stuff up on the spot.
The Price is Now Right
To once again quote from Casey Kasem’s famous rant, “this happens to me all the time!” I go to the supermarket and cannot find a favorite product. Occasionally, I see the “closeout item” tag and buy whatever is left on the shelf. This past weekend, I was shut out trying to buy some Eating Right salad dressing at Food City. As I griped about it on Twitter, it occurred to me to look online for other places to find it. The dressing is made by Lucerne Foods, the house brand at Safeway. My wife was in Northern Virginia at the time so I asked her to stop at a Safeway and buy me some. She bought 15 bottles. Safeway used Twitter to congratulate me.
A new favorite product is sometimes hard to find. I have been using Kellogg’s All-Bran Bran Buds as a salad topping and enjoying the health benefit they provide. I usually get them at Walmart but had to go elsewhere last night. It irked me that a box of Buds cost about 50¢ more at Kroger. I recalled a conversation from the night before and asked the cashier if they price-matched. He punched a button or two on his register and in a matter of seconds, I was paying the Walmart price at Kroger.
The idea to ask Kroger for a price match came on Tuesday night at Patrick Sullivan’s. I spoke with a guy named Doug as he waited for the Einstein Simplified show to begin. In his job for a soft-drink bottler, he stocks product into three major retailers in Sevier County. I asked him about the two-liter bottles I saw at a Knoxville Walmart for only 75¢ each. He said that the retail giant often comparison shops and drops their price to beat a competitor. He said they are less likely to do so in a tourist area such as Sevierville or Pigeon Forge. However, Doug said that even touristy Walmarts will probably match the price of a competitor if asked to do so by a customer.
Skull Set
Carol Bass charmed the crowd gathered at Echo Bistro & Wine Bar on Monday night for “Dinner with the Bone Doctor.” The event was a fundraiser for the Dr. William M. Bass III Forensic Anthropology building fund. Supporters heard a presentation by Dr. Bill Bass while enjoying a gourmet dinner. Before things got started, Mrs. Bass joked that a server named Claude was one of her “boyfriends.” Dr. and Mrs. Bass followed Claude to Echo from his previous gig at Edison Park when it closed. She said that I have been one of her “boyfriends” too, ever since we first met on the day of my makeover.
The Bone Zones team decorated the front door with crime scene tape and put toy skeletons on the tables. Chef Seth Simmerman showed his sense of humor by serving sea bass. It was complimented by veal piccata and vegetables. In addition to the main course, there were ample hors d’oeuvres set up on the bar, a fancy salad and a delicious dessert.
I made a few announcements and introduced Dr. Bass. He had a box with teaching skulls that demonstrate various types of head trauma. There were a couple of shooting victims and a couple of bludgeoning victims. As expected, the like-minded crowd had no problem eating while looking at the skulls. For each of the victims, Dr. Bass described the crime scene where their remains were discovered.
After the lecture, I made a few more announcements and pointed out Dr. Al Hazari of the UT chemistry department and Helen Taylor of the East Tennessee Cremation Company. Like she did for me, Helen presented Dr. Hazari with a business card holder, also known as a prosthetic knee joint. I thanked the chef and said that the food was to die for. I told the crowd, “if you do, don’t worry, we have a stack of Body Farm donation forms.”
Susan and Mary Jo from the Bone Zones team said that they plan to have more events like this in the future although it may be a few months before Dr. Bass has time in his schedule.
Loe and Behold
Gary Loe has entered the world of local politics. I know Gary as a friend from church, you may recognize him from his time as an investigative reporter on WVLT. He is seeking the state assembly seat being vacated by Stacey Campfield.
In a recent phone conversation, I told Gary about Campfield’s appearance on the Penn & Teller show. It’s no surprise that Penn’s voiceover mocked Campfield’s remarks about gay-straight alliances in high schools. Did Campfield know what he was getting into? Or does he believe that any publicity is good publicity?
Campfield is now running for the state senate seat that Tim Burchett is leaving. Burchett is running for Knox County Mayor. I asked Gary Loe about Campfield’s campaign signs which appear to be an infringement upon Coca-Cola’s trademark. Gary heard that several local news organizations had attempted to contact Coke for a comment but had received no reply.
One of Gary’s campaign pieces has me amused. The paper got damaged in the mail, obliterating most of the face of a man in the crowd. Without seeing his eyes, I stared at his smile, his shirt, his tie and his belt buckle. Then my eyes moved to the right. Did he have an identical twin? There were at least two more people who had doppelgängers in the group.
Another piece of mail came from one of Campfield’s opponents, Ron Leadbetter. As I glanced at it, I was struck by his resemblance to Dr. Bill Bass. Then I read the text. It wasn’t Leadbetter but an old picture of Dr. Bass himself, who has endorsed his former colleague.
Fair Labor
The image of Adam West in the opening sequence of one of my favorite movies, “Drop Dead Gorgeous,” came to mind when I received an email from the director of the Karns Fairest of the Fair pageant. Would I serve as emcee for the event? If enriching the lives of American-made girls is good enough for TV’s Batman, it’s certainly good enough for me!
I was excited about my first time as emcee of a beauty pageant. However there was a catch. I would have to arrange for a tuxedo. I asked the higher-ups at work and they were happy to place a call to Walker’s Formal Wear, which provided a great suit for me.
Upon my arrival at Grace Baptist Church on Friday night, I met the four judges: Betty Rasnic Justus, Jeanette Brown, Melinda Barto and Bob Bell. They were reviewing the pictures submitted for the Most Photogenic competition in our pre-show holding area.
During the casual wear competition, my job would be to announce each girl as she did her pageant walk and approached the microphone. During the formal wear competition, I would read the bio each girl had submitted. Pageant director Kelley Grabill instructed me to not announce any of the contestants’ last names. She didn’t want the chances of the daughters of any committee members influenced either negatively or positively. Maybe Kelley had picked up a pointer from “Drop Dead Gorgeous” too.
Drop Dead Gorgeous (Theatrical Trailer)
Check out other Film & TV videos
As a joke, I started by taking a photo of the audience and telling them to tag themselves on Facebook. When two or three of the younger contestants froze during their remarks, my instinct was to stay quiet and not interfere. At intermission, the judges told me that I had done the right thing. Later when a mix up made it unclear who had won Most Photogenic, I filled the time with whatever silly banter popped into my head. After the pageant, I was extremely complimented by the judges who told me that I had put the contestants and the audience at ease throughout the evening.
JuXmasly
Each time we travel, my wife and I look for a souvenir Christmas ornament. At the rate we’re going, we will eventually need a bigger tree to display them all. On this year’s trip, we found ornaments at gift shops in Yellowstone National Park, in St. Regis, Montana, in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho and at the base of the Space Needle in Seattle, Washington.
The store in Coeur d’Alene was a Christmas specialty shop, like you’d find in any tourist town. We bought a simple sphere with a nice, hand-painted picture of Lake Coeur d’Alene. I was amused by representations of some of my other favorite things, but not amused enough to lay out the cash for them. They had ornaments representing cappuccino, bacon & eggs and even a Chinese food carton, which made me think of the famous scene from “A Christmas Story.” They can also satisfy those who want a hippopotamus for Christmas.
The gift shop at the St. Regis Travel Center claimed to be Montana’s largest. On my way to see the live trout aquarium in the back of the store, I saw a rack displaying ornaments for all 50 states. In my travels, it was the first time I had ever seen such a collection. Should I buy one of each so I have the complete set? I thought about it but decided that they wouldn’t be souvenirs of my travels if I did.
-
Site Search
-
A Word from Our Sponsors
-
With Humble Appreciation:
-
Connections:
-
For Your Consideration:
Frank Murphy in "Fish Bait: the Movie" -
Welcome Visitors
-
Olden Days Archives
2005
- August 2005
- September 2005
- October 2005
- November 2005
- December 2005
- January 2006
- February 2006
- March 2006
- April 2006
- May 2006
- June 2006
- July 2006
- August 2006
- September 2006
- October 2006
- November 2006
- December 2006
- January 2007
- February 2007
- March 2007
- April 2007
- May 2007
- June 2007
- July 2007
- August 2007
- September 2007
- October 2007
- November 2007
- December 2007
- January 2008
- February 2008
- March 2008
- April 2008
- May 2008
- June 2008
- July 2008
- August 2008
- September 2008
- October 2008
- November 2008
- December 2008
- January 2009
- February 2009
- March 2009
- April 2009
- May 2009
- June 2009
- July 2009
- August 2009
- September 2009
- October 2009
- November 2009
- December 2009
- January 2010
- February 2010
- March 2010
2006
2007
2008
2009
2010